99 Problems

Oh, you don't dry your clothes by hanging them in the window?

I feel bad for you, son.

True Love

We were clearly made for each other.

Groundhog Day

In the Spring, there are two things I look forward to with eager anticipation:

1. The first weekend in April, when I hope to see the UNC Tar Heel men's basketball team cutting down the nets after a national championship, and,
2. The last weekend in May, when I hope to see the UNC Tar Heels men's lacrosse team hoisting the national championship trophy.

However, on Saturday this happened:

Like a recurring nightmare, the Tar Heels play the Pioneers of Denver University in the tournament, and every time they win. FOR THE LAST 3 YEARS IN A ROW.

It's like Kansas is for our basketball team.

Maddening.

Useless

I always thought that authors of introductory language learning textbooks would try to find useful example sentences. You know, takeaways to help the novice.

Apparently, I was wrong.

Under Control

A week ago, I reported that I had let things get… rustic… in the facial hair department. Well, I realized it was time for a change.

So, with a pair of clippers, I got to work. Here's where we started:

Bold. Glorious.

Our first stop: the General Burnside.

Spot on. Nailed it.

From there, it felt necessary to class it up a bit.

In case you missed it...

Of course, my brother Josh was inspired...

I never really thought the Eye of the Tiger could get any classier. Clearly, I was wrong.

It's For the Kids

I'm sure most of you are familiar with Toms shoes - you know, the cloth shoes that were wildly popular a few years ago. Well, the company allegedly does good in the world by providing shoes to underprivileged folks around the world, a program called "One for One."

The idea behind it is simple: you buy a pair of Toms, then Toms gives a pair away. Simple.

So, obviously it brought a huge smile to my face when I saw this:

The smile was not a "Oh that's nice, more impoverished kids will be receiving shoes now that China's selling Toms." It was a "Ah, another hilarious reminder that China could care less about philanthropy or original ideas. Or intellectual property."

If you look closely, you'll realize that these aren't Toms. They are Toms-esque shoes from a company called "One for One."

That's right, it's all here folks: the exact design of Toms' shoes, the exact logo, and the name of Toms' philanthropy. Only I'm sure these folks don't give any shoes away for free.

(I zoomed in as close as I could to the back of one of the shoes, so you could see that they aren't Toms)

This One Time...

… we fit Stacy in a Burger King cup.

Out of Control

So, apparently my facial hair has gotten a little out of control.

Obviously, I'm not apologizing, just recognizing it for the first time.

In early March, when things were "full but well-kempt."

More recently…

Full gnar, no apologies.

I live in the mountains, what did you expect?


Sorry most of y'all aren't around to enjoy this glorious Charles Wesley-esque facial mane.

T-hehe (Pun Intended)

Because I'm immature.

C&C - No, NOT the Music Factory

I'm sorry, who told you this was a good name for a restaurant?

No, I am not interested in knowing the blue plate special, thanks.